Book O' Doom
by Kaitsu Himaru
Summary: What would happen if Sai and Gaara found a book about sex in a library? *Written as an RP by my friend and I* The characters may be in and out of character too by the way ;; THIS IS NOT YAOI IT IS JUST THE CHARACTERS IN IT!


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the character.... I do however own half this fic... The other half goes to my friend, who on Deviantart is called Gaarafan423

Sai: How to get the hot chick???? What kind of books are these?!??! -picks one up-

Sai: Hmmm...... why are they talking about baby chickens?

Sai: Oh! They're talking about females! Why would they write this then? *reads further into book, the real descriptive parts*

Gaara: -looks over shoulder- Who would write this stuff????? O_O

Sai: Hmmm... What it this word? Intercourse? **Read further, making weird faces as he does so**) Okay i get it now!! Hmmm

**Gaara walks into the library and spotted Naruto's new friend Sai looking at books.**

Sai: *browsing through books* Hmm.... What's this? *pulls off book* Love Life for Dummies?

Gaara: What book is that?

Sai: *turns around and runs into Gaara* Umpf! Oh! Hello Shrimpy!

Gaara: W-what?!

Sai: You are shorter than me, there fore you are a shrimp.... Also, what is this book about? Do you know? *Flips to a random page* Oh my....... (stole buddy's phrase XDD)

Gaara: ..Hmmmmmm...*looks at it* I dunno.

Sai: *stares at picture*

Gaara: *looks at the picture* What are they doing???? Gaara: *doing

Sai: Um, Gaara, Why does your library have a book like, this?! Sai: *stares intently at picture*

Gaara: My dad bought these.....

Sai: *eyes go wide* Uhm, what is this male doing? is he-

Gaara: Why does the female look like she's in pain?!!?!?!?!

Sai: I think I'm going to take this out..... It seems..... Interesting

Gaara: Good idea....Maybe if we look at it we can figure it out...

Sai: Hmm....... This makes me get a weird..... feeling... hmmm I wonder what it is...

Gaara: *flips the page* They aren't wearing clothes!!!

Sai: *stares blankly and after a few moments of silence* Oh.. They aren't

Gaara: *wipes nose* Blood????....

Sai: *looks over at Gaara* Why is your nose bleeding?

Gaara: Why is yours???

Sai: What? Sai: I don't understan- *wipes nose* Hmm... It is..... Should we go ask someone about this?

Gaara: Maybe.....

Sai: Maybe Kakashi sensei is awake?

Sai: We should look for him.....

Gaara: Yeah...

Sai: *gets book checked out and sets off in search of Kakashi*

Sai: *forgot completely about Gaara*

Gaara: *following him*

Sai: Hmm... If I were Kakashi sensei, Where would I be? *being oblivious, runs smack into Naruto*

Gaara: Hello Naruto.

Sai: Oh! Naruto! have you Seen Kakashi Sensei?

Naruto: No? Why?

Sai: Oh, I have a slight dilemma... Maybe you could help me?

Gaara: You probably know more about this stuff then we do...

Naruto: Sure, Sai, What is it this time.... **is obviously annoyed** Oh and Hello Gaara!

Sai: Well, I found this book.... I do not understand it in the least....

Gaara: Me neither...We were looking for Kakashi-san...Because he reads a lot...

Naruto: Fine, Lemme see the book..... *grabs book from Sai's outstretched arm and flips open to random page*

Gaara: Well?

Naruto: O_O....Heheh -nosebleed-

Sai: So, Can you help us???

Gaara: He got a nosebleed! Why does that happen??????

Sai: I DONT KNOW! DICKLESS WHY IS YOUR NOSE BLEEDING!?

Naruto: Oh no reason....*staring at page with perverted face* Heheheheh what did you want me to tell you again??

Sai: *grabs book back* We wanted to know what this book is about... We do not understand it

Naruto: Pervy sage writes about this stuff all the time. You should ask him.

Gaara: Pervy sage?

Sai: Okay.... We Will seek out this "Pervy Sage" of yours... *walks away up street*

Gaara: **follows** Who's "Pervy sage"?

Sai: *absent mindedly take wrong turn... runs into Kakashi*

Sai: I don't know..... Oh, Hello Sensei ^^

[ Kakashi: Hello, Sai... Gaara. What's up?

Gaara: Oh Kakashi-san! We were looking for you. We don't really understand this book. *hands it to him* Can you help us?

Kakashi: Oh my... Uhm... Hmn.. Well, Let's see........... Uhhh

Gaara: Well? His nose isn't bleeding...

Kakashi: Obviously this is a book of relationships not suited for the eyes of people under the age of 20.... Like yourselves.....

Gaara: Why???

Sai: Yes sensei, why? And Gaara's right, your nose isn't bleeding, Are you by chance a term i read, gay?

Kakashi: Uhh No Sai, I'm straight... And the reason why you shouldn't be reading this because...... uhhm

Kakashi: Well, you are just too young... that is why..

Sai: What does straight mean?

Kakashi: Meaning you like girls.... If a guy likes another guy as more than a friend, they are considered "gay".... If a guy likes a girl more as a friend, they're straight....... Although some guy's and girl's are bi... meaning they like both genders....

Gaara: What??

Kakashi:*face palms* OK, If your sister got a boyfriend...... she is straight... She likes boys.... If your brother got a girlfriend, he is straight....... because he likes girls, get it?

Gaara: I heard her talking about Shikamaru once....Does that mean he's her boyfriend?? Kankuro doesn't have a girlfriend...

Kakashi: *face palms* No, it doesn't mean Temari is going out with Shikamaru..... It could just be a crush or she got angry at him

Gaara: What's a crush? And what about Kankuro?

Sai: Hmmmm So sensei, what about you do you have a boy friend or a girlfriend?

Kakashi: OK.... A crush is uhm if you like someone..... And to answer your question Sai, I have a girlfriend...........

Gaara: Is Kankuro gay??? He doesn't have a girlfriend! Am I gay?

Sai: Okay, So there is this girl who follows me, does that mean she likes me?

Kakashi: No, It means you are not mature yet......

Kakashi: And Sai, most likely yes.....

Gaara: Matsuri and Sari called me "hot"

Kakashi: She probably is trying to talk to you, but you don't pay attention enough... That is both of your problems right there........

Gaara: They also stalk me...

Kakashi: OK.. I'm going to go else where now.......

Kakashi: *poofs away*

Sai:............ Where's my book?

Gaara: He took it...

**Unknowingly to the two dumb asses, two girls are stalking them........**

Kaitsu: Hmmm, Mizu, where are they heading?

Mizuki: I dunno..


End file.
